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Grieving Overwhelmed Widows Negotiating Stuff.

About You

Congratulations on getting this far, especially if you have met Sandra & Jayne!!

Here at GOWNS it is our aim to use laughter and humour in a therapeutic way, it is not our intention to cause offence to anyone who has suffered the trauma of having lost a partner or a spouse. However, humour is subjective and will be perceived in a variety of ways.
Sandra & Jayne recommend that you ask yourselves the following questions before deciding whether or not GOWNS is for you. There is absolutely no science involved here… just a chance to pause for thought.

Questions

Since your loss have you sought out new friends and/or interests?

  • A Not at all, you prefer to deal with your grief in a quiet contemplative way
  • B You find it difficult to imagine a life without your loved one, but feel instinctively that you should seek out things which will help you with the new life you have now
  • C Despite your desolation you are determined to make the most of the future you have been given, and hope to develop this at every opportunity.

If you were to attend the funeral of a friend whose family had thought that including clowns, balloons and humour was appropriate at either the church or crematorium, would you think that?

  • A This was disrespectful to the deceased
  • B You would accept the families right to conduct the service in a way of their own choosing, but might feel a little uncomfortable with this informal approach in a traditional setting
  • C You would have taken custard pies too, and loved it.

A bereaved friend of yours cries constantly and seems unable to cope with their grief, which of the following are you most likely to do?

  • A Avoid contact with them
  • B Try to be there for your friend but are uncomfortable with their outpourings. You would like to offer comfort, but are unsure as how best to do this
  • C Listen to your friend and when you think it might be appropriate try to use humour in an uplifting way.

Which of the following types best describe you – choose one option only

  • A Quiet and sensitive, you find it difficult not be upset by jokes made at your own expense
  • A Fairly out going and confident, but usually content to inhabit the middle ground
  • A An extrovert who employs humour regularly, believing that whilst no subject is taboo, not everyone will agree with you.

Since you have lost your spouse or partner have you had occasion to laugh uncontrollably?

  • A Not at all, this would make you feel guilty and perhaps disloyal to your loved one
  • B You have laughed in this way occasionally, but were a little unsure as to how this made you feel afterwards.
  • C You have frequently laughed and it makes you feel better afterwards. You take the view that it was your partner you lost, not your personality or sense of humour.

Which of the following best describes your aspirations for the future?

  • A You can not envisage a future without your lost partner/spouse, and feel that it is unlikely you will ever be happy again.
  • B You try to be optimistic about the future, but this can leave you feeling guilty at times and disloyal to your partner/spouse.
  • C In your view the worst has already happened, and you feel that the best way to honour your lost partner/spouse is to live ‘well’ in their name.

If your answers were mostly

A

It is possible that you might find some of the content on GOWNS not to your taste. This might be because you are in the early days of the grieving process, or because you find the idea of using humour as a therapeutic aid in bereavement at odds with your own ideas and beliefs. However, as always the choice is yours and you are welcome to try GOWNS at any time.

If your answers were mostly

B

Again it is possible that those in this category will, at times find some of the humour used on GOWNS a little uncomfortable at first. But our sense is that you are open to the concept of using humour and laughter as a therapy in this area, and that this would be of benefit to you.

If your answers were mostly

C

Whilst we could never guarantee that the respondents in this category are immune to feeling offended by the content on GOWNS, we think that it is less likely to happen given your answers. Welcome aboard!

Sandra & Jayne hope that you will enjoy GOWNS we are looking forward to hearing from, and seeing you on the site.

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